Thursday, November 11, 2010

I have a confession...

I find myself sitting here in my uncomfortable preggo state daydreaming about running.  For anyone that knows me well (including myself) this is not normal behavior for me.  I don't think I have EVER daydreamed about exercise.  Naps, yes.  Eating, yes.  Actually, I usually daydream about eating while I am running.  It really passes the miles to plan what I am going to eat as soon as I am done running.  While training for the half-marathon this summer I was lucky enough to have running partners that love to talk about food as much as I do.  Usually about 3 miles into our long weekend runs we would start talking culinary delights and it would come up again and again for the next 2 hours. 

And then I lose track of what I was talking about.  Daydreaming about running. 

I just can't quite identify the point at which I became a runner.  Was is when I decided to do that first 5k or was further down the line when I decided that I could do a half-marathon?  I choose to believe it happened somewhere in the middle, on a sunny, cold Central Oregon day while I pushed a sleeping Sara along the Dry Canyon Trail and found myself not counting the miles anymore. 

Whenever it happened, I am so thankful that I am just stubborn enough to commit to something and refuse to allow myself to fail.  Running changed my life.  That sounds cliche but I cannot think of any other way to describe it.  When I run, I feel strong and powerful.  I feel like I can accomplish things that others doubt I can do.  I still don't kow if my dad believes I was actually running when I crossed that finish line but I know I was and when I think about that moment, I cry.  I was more proud of myself than I have ever been. 

So when this baby comes in the spring I will be anxiously awaiting that moment that my doctor says, "You're free to run."  Run I will.  And I will probably daydream about eating with every step.

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